January 2012
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Sick to My Stomach
It aches and burns. It drops and churns. I feel sick. I feel dead. All that’s in my heart is dread. I want those words to be such lies. They’re poison slowly eating me alive. I want this feeling to leave me be. I wish you hadn’t cheated on me.
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SCHOOL:
In class: 1+1=2
Exercises: 1+2+1=4
Test: John buy 4 oranges. He eats one and gives another to Ted. Calculate the sun's mass.
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You told me they were lies, and I believe you. I...
Greatest advice ever given to me?
‘You should pray about it.’
It just feels like everyone knew but me, and I...
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My conversation with my four year old brother:
Little Brother: Mimi, why are your eyes wet?
Me: Because someone hurt my heart.
Little Brother: How'd they hurt your heart?
Me: They didn't tell me something they should have.
Little Brother: When my eyes are wet I wipe them and then-and then they're dry.
Me: *laugh and wipe my eyes* Are my eyes dry now?
Little Brother: *smiles* Yes.
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I don't understand what I did wrong.
Does it say, ‘I’m super gullable and trusting. You can cheat on me and lie about it and I will believe it.’ on my forehead? Do I look like I’m nice enough to just say, “It’s okay if you fucked someone while we were dating, all is forgiven.”? Seriously, what did I do that wasn’t good enough? Was it because I didn’t put out? I told you I...
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